A new year's wish for our divided times

"The problem with people is that they’re only human." — Bill Watterson

January 1 is a time for parties and well-meaning resolutions, in contrast with the pensive, soul-searching Jewish New Year. But they both promise turning over a new leaf, in anticipation of better times.

Rosh HaShana is also tied to Yom Kippur and atonement, but the tradition is crystal clear. Forgiveness must be asked separately and directly of people you’ve wronged. There’s an ancient tradition of approaching friends and family and broaching it before the holiday.

So here’s my story. A few years back, I asked someone to forgive me for any hurt I may have caused them the previous year. I was rebuffed — told they don’t believe in that tradition — and, with the unlikely prospect of self-change, how do they know if I’m sincere. I was taken aback.

But my insight came this week, when I came across a formal, archaic Hebrew way to say “I’m sorry.” The term is עִמָּכֶם הַסְּלִיחָה, which means “you hold the power to forgive.” What an elegant phrase!

Only half the battle lies in the humility of apology. The other is the capacity to let something go (if not forget).

I am not saying there are no unforgivable crimes. (For example, my Mom and Dad’s entire families were exterminated, and they survived concentration camps.) But I am saying that many of our daily angers don’t qualify for unforgivability.

I’ll go further. Resentment itself yields compound interest — and where does that get us?

In this week’s Torah portion from Genesis, we read how Judah’s contrite confession stood the test, and how Joseph finally broke down and revealed himself as his little brother.

How we speak with (and about) each other makes all the difference. As Rabbi David Wolpe said, “I know people who are extremely careful about what goes into their mouth — but never give a thought to what comes out of it.”

I feel sorry for people lacking the capacity to admit they’re wrong and apologize — and even sorrier for those with neither the empathy nor kindness in their hearts to grant forgiveness and move past it.

This post was entirely composed by humans…
Wishing you all a Happy 2026!

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